Mondays 9:30pm ET
Dave Hill's blog
Lookin' Good
Hello. This is your man, Dave Hill, AKA the King of Miami, AKA dude who is pretty f%#king sweet in general. Anyway, as you probably know, we (and when I say we, I mean you and me and the rest of North America) are two episodes into my exciting new program and it has been pretty exciting for everyone involved, myself included. I am getting used to life as a high-definition television sensation and all the clapping and waving and stuff that happens whenever I walk down the street as a result of my newfound stardom. Sometimes I want my life back but I realize there is no turning back. I was born for this s%#t. Plus, if you don't want to take over the world, you don't just go having incredible hair like I do, do you now? I knew what I was getting into.
Speaking of life as a public figure, I have heard rumors that there is a huge billboard of Zane Lamprey, star of some show that is not as good as mine, on the side of a building at the corner of 6th Avenue and 23rd Street in New York City. If you are anything like me, I realize the temptation might be to deface this unreasonably large image of Zane. However, as a public figure and person of influence not unlike the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I would ask you to please not endanger yourself and/or others by trying to vandalize this billboard in your spare time (unless of course you think you can pull it off without getting into too much trouble, in which case I say go for it).
Getting back to me and my incredible program however, this week's episode features all sorts of excitement, including but not limited to my interview with Dr. Constantino Mendieta, Miami's (and the world's as far as I am concerned) foremost plastic surgeon specializing in butt sculpting. He is pretty incredible and also really nice. A lot of times in life you might think that we are stuck with the butts we were given by Jesus, but thanks to Dr. Mendieta that is no longer the case. As I learned from my intense one-on-one sitdown (no pun intended - actually, I'm not sure if that is really a pun, but you know what I mean) with Dr. Mendieta, pretty much anything is possible once you let Dr. Mendieta get his hands on your ass. He even showed me three women whose asses he had transformed and I have to admit they were really something. Neither the ladies nor Dr. Mendieta would let me touch them, but as far as I could tell they were really top notch asses. It was almost like they were from outer space or the future or something.
As for my own ass, Dr. Mendieta thought he might even be able to improve on my ass, which seemed impossible but he swore he could do it. After all, he is the ass master. In the end (no pun intended), I just decided to end things on a handshake however. Who knows though- maybe someday I will let Dr. Mendieta go to town on my ass. I mean hey- why not? Am I right or am I right? Or am I right?
Okay, that pretty much covers it for now. I will be in touch again shortly. In the meantime, why not become my close personal friend on MySpace at www.myspace.com/davehillexplosion ? The future is now!
Your man,
Dave Hill AKA the King of Miami